A good movie, a bad memory and a great cake

I went to the cinema to see The Theory of Everything last weekend. It’s the story of a young woman who falls in love with a young Stephen Hawking and the struggles she faces as they build a relationship, a family and a life together as his body deteriorates and eventually gives way to severe disability.

The two central performances are wonderful and this film is enormously affecting on a personal level. So, I’d recommend that you see it. But I’m not really here to give a film review. I’m here to write about a scene in the film that brought back memories of one of the worst times in my life with MS.

Most of you will know that Stephen Hawking has motor neuron disease, a disease of the central nervous system that leads to progressive disability and ultimately to death. Early in the movie, when he is being tested prior to his diagnosis, he is asked to do a simple task – to touch the thumb of his right hand to each of the fingers on that same hand.

Eddie Redmayne (who plays Hawking) is so convincing at portraying the confusion he feels when he realises he can’t do this.  Later, there’s a look of sheer anguish on his face as he tries to do it again at home. He suddenly understands he can no longer bid his body to do as he wishes. He’s losing control of his physical self.

My stomach churned as I watched this scene and I can feel it churning still. It could have been a scene from my life because my neurologist asked me to complete that same task before I was diagnosed with MS (I suppose it’s a standard diagnostic tool) and I remember the sense of shock I felt when I wasn’t able to do it. Although my brain was thinking the thoughts that had always previously resulted in moving my fingers, I couldn’t make them meet my thumb. My disbelieving eyes saw them miss every time. Despite trying over and over and over again, I couldn’t get them to do what I wanted.

This persisted for the six weeks that the attack lasted. At random moments of every day, I would try to complete the task again only to have my heart sink when I saw that I still wasn’t able to do it.

However, I did eventually recover and was once again able to make my fingers and thumbs do exactly what I asked of them. But I have never forgotten how frightened I felt when I lost control of my body. Sometimes, when I’m sitting at the dinner table or watching TV or being driven in a car, I absentmindedly find myself touching my fingers to my thumb, as if subconsciously reassuring myself that all is still well – that I am still well.

And so far, I have been.

I attribute my continued good health to my diet. And whenever I feel tempted to eat butter, cream and chocolate, I remind myself what it felt like not to be able to use my right hand properly.
I used to have to remind myself of this quite often, especially when I would think of Mary Berry's banana bread - which was once my go-to banana bread in the café and at home. 

But I don't have to control myself with such mind games anymore - at least not when it comes to banana bread. I've come up with a recipe that is not the same as Mary Berry's but it's just as delicious and it packs a much bigger nutritional punch.

I thought I'd share it with you today.
200g mashed ripe bananas* (this will require two to three bananas, depending on their size)
1 tablespoon almond milk
50g olive oil (choose one with a mild flavour)
25g cocoa powder
50g plain flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
75g sugar
60g walnuts, chopped 
20g banana chips, chopped (optional)
3 tablespoons cocoa nibs (optional - especially if you are strict about OMS)
1 egg

• Preheat your oven to 170 C/340 F.
• Line a small loaf tin with some baking parchment. I find that the easiest way of doing this is rubbing a left-over butter wrapper over the inside of the tin, scrunching the parchment into a ball with my hands and then using my fingers to shape the parchment to the bottom and sides of the tin. The scrunched-up nature of the paper makes it much more pliable.
• Combine all of your ingredients in a bowl and mix thoroughly.
• Pour into the lined tin and place in the centre of your oven.
• Cook for 30 to 35 minutes or until a skewer comes out clean.

Enjoy the cake with a cup of tea (and if you can, go to see the movie!)

* There's no such thing as over-ripe bananas. The blacker they are, the better they will be for baking, producing super-moist cakes.

The Great British Bake Off: how does Sharon measure up?

Some of you will already know that I have a stall at Dingle Farmers' Market where I sell cupcakes and other baked sweet treats. You'll know that I bake regularly and enjoy it. However, I wouldn't go so far as to say that I'm a baker. I've never taken a single class in baking (apart from the classes in home economics we had at school, where I am embarrassed to say that I never showed much promise - sorry teach!). Everything I know about baking, I've learned from books and from simple trial and (lots of) error.

This means that I empathise with the contestants on The Great British Bake Off (for those of you who haven't seen the show, it's a baking competition that sees baking experts Paul Hollywood and Mary Berry set tasks for enthusiastic baking amateurs such as me). I particularly empathised with the celebrities who took part in last week's Sports Relief Bake Off. I was once like them, an absolute novice who knew little or nothing about baking - except that I liked eating the end result!

I do think I've improved since then and one of last week's challenges presented me with the perfect chance to see how I measured up. The second programme saw each of the four contestants fail quite spectacularly in their attempts to make Mary Berry's banana and chocolate chip loaf cake

Despite their dismal efforts, I didn't think it looked too difficult. I also thought it sounded delicious. So, I decided to try it for myself.

Here's my result:

A simply scrumptious cake that is perfect for weekend baking - moist as a result of the mashed banana and with the ideal amount of chocolate, enough to give you your chocolate hit without being too decadent for a January afternoon. 
And - I don't know what went wrong with those bakers on the Bake Off - it couldn't be easier to make.

I made double the amount in Mary's recipe as my loaf tin is twice as large as the one she uses. This meant that I had to adjust the cooking time but it also meant that I had enough cake to last two people (and several visitors) for the entire weekend - which is surely what a weekend cake is supposed to do.

Ingredients:
2 ripe bananas (peeled weight 200g/8oz)
2 tablespoons milk
100g/4oz soft butter
150g/6oz plain flour
150g/6oz caster sugar 
1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
2 eggs
100g dark chocolate chips (I bought a bar of chocolate and cut it into chunks)

To decorate:
40g dark chocolate chips

1 loaf tin measuring 28.5cm by 13cm by 6cm.

• Preheat the oven to 160C/325F/Gas 3.
  
• Grease and line your loaf tin with baking parchment.
• Mash the peeled bananas with a fork and add to the milk, butter, flour, sugar, soda, baking powder and eggs.
• Beat the ingredients with an electric hand-held whisk until they have combined and are smooth.
• Stir in the chocolate chips and spoon the mixture into the loaf tin.
• Bake for 50-60 minutes or until the cake is well risen, has begun to shrink away from the sides of the tin and has turned a golden-brown colour.
• Set aside to cool for ten minutes then remove from the tin and leave to cool on a wire rack.
• To decorate, melt the remaining chocolate in a heatproof bowl over a saucepan of simmering water.
• Mary recommends spooning the chocolate into a piping  bag and piping zig-zags across the top of the loaf. This is a little too prim for my style so I decided to drizzle it haphazardly instead. 
• Now, all you have to do is slice and serve.

This is a cake I would urge everyone to try. It's sweet but not too indulgent, making it perfect for a cold January afternoon. Go on. Have a slice!

I think Mary Berry would be proud of my cake. What do you reckon?